| Children and Grief |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
One of the hardest things in life is to lose a child. One of the hardest things for a child to overcome is losing someone they
love. How do you talk to your child about death? How do you let them know that its ok to grieve? How do you know
that they understand the death and dying process? The answer isn't easy. As their caregiver, you know the capacity for
their comprehension. The worst thing you can do is to say nothing. To do nothing. We may not think they understand or
that they are affected, but they are. It is best to deal with the issues as they are presenting themselves instead of watching
your child spend years in therapy because they didn't understand why mommy or why grandpa had to leave.
Most parents beleive that children are resilient. And, to an extent, they are. Speaking from experience, both as a child
going through loss and grief and as someone who had to teach their children about death and dying, its tough. There is
not one way better than the other and there is no wrong or right way to approach it. Should you feel your child is
depressed or even despondent over the loss, it is imperative that you seek professional assistance from a mental health
practitioner.
When a child is faced with the loss, whether it be the loss from a parent or even a pet, sometimes there is not a significant
difference at how they handled that loss. There pet was special to them, so was there loved one. Loss is loss and grief is
grief. If they want to know, tell them as much as you think they can handle. The worse thing to do is to say nothing. The
days of 'boys don't cry', or 'suck it up and be a man' are over. By telling our children that its not ok to cry or to feel, we
teach them to be insensitive adults. Its ok to cry. Its ok to miss grandma or your pet turtle. If they understand the death
process and are prepared before their loved one leaves the earth plane, then the recovery time may be hastened. There are
some wonderful books out there about death and dying and teaching your children about grief and loss. I can't stress
enough how important it is to help your child through their loss, even though the loss is affecting you just as badly.
I once was told a person isn't dead until they are forgotton. I think that was very good advice to me at a young age. I miss
my loved ones everyday and although the intense grief is no longer there, dulled some by years of understanding and
self-therapy, it will always be there. The best thing you can do is to let your children talk about their loved ones. Don't
feel you can never bring up grandma's name again because she's gone. She may be gone from the physical world, but she
is still around you in the ethereal world. And no, heaven is not so far away. Our loved ones are basically three feet above
us but directly around us all the time. If they feel a presence, encourage them to talk about it. Ask them if they wanted to
say anything to their loved one. Tell them its ok to talk to their loved ones. Let them feel and by letting them feel and
experience the joy that they are not alone and that their loved ones are 'just a thought away', they will overcome the grief,
loss and sadness over time and be better human beings because of the understanding you showed them when they were
dealing with their own loss.
love. How do you talk to your child about death? How do you let them know that its ok to grieve? How do you know
that they understand the death and dying process? The answer isn't easy. As their caregiver, you know the capacity for
their comprehension. The worst thing you can do is to say nothing. To do nothing. We may not think they understand or
that they are affected, but they are. It is best to deal with the issues as they are presenting themselves instead of watching
your child spend years in therapy because they didn't understand why mommy or why grandpa had to leave.
Most parents beleive that children are resilient. And, to an extent, they are. Speaking from experience, both as a child
going through loss and grief and as someone who had to teach their children about death and dying, its tough. There is
not one way better than the other and there is no wrong or right way to approach it. Should you feel your child is
depressed or even despondent over the loss, it is imperative that you seek professional assistance from a mental health
practitioner.
When a child is faced with the loss, whether it be the loss from a parent or even a pet, sometimes there is not a significant
difference at how they handled that loss. There pet was special to them, so was there loved one. Loss is loss and grief is
grief. If they want to know, tell them as much as you think they can handle. The worse thing to do is to say nothing. The
days of 'boys don't cry', or 'suck it up and be a man' are over. By telling our children that its not ok to cry or to feel, we
teach them to be insensitive adults. Its ok to cry. Its ok to miss grandma or your pet turtle. If they understand the death
process and are prepared before their loved one leaves the earth plane, then the recovery time may be hastened. There are
some wonderful books out there about death and dying and teaching your children about grief and loss. I can't stress
enough how important it is to help your child through their loss, even though the loss is affecting you just as badly.
I once was told a person isn't dead until they are forgotton. I think that was very good advice to me at a young age. I miss
my loved ones everyday and although the intense grief is no longer there, dulled some by years of understanding and
self-therapy, it will always be there. The best thing you can do is to let your children talk about their loved ones. Don't
feel you can never bring up grandma's name again because she's gone. She may be gone from the physical world, but she
is still around you in the ethereal world. And no, heaven is not so far away. Our loved ones are basically three feet above
us but directly around us all the time. If they feel a presence, encourage them to talk about it. Ask them if they wanted to
say anything to their loved one. Tell them its ok to talk to their loved ones. Let them feel and by letting them feel and
experience the joy that they are not alone and that their loved ones are 'just a thought away', they will overcome the grief,
loss and sadness over time and be better human beings because of the understanding you showed them when they were
dealing with their own loss.